Body Copy Depletion Causes State of Emergency

NEW YORK (AP) - Millions of clinically depressed people worlwide are wandering aimlessly after recent print ads provided no body copy. New Yorker Herbert Wilshanker responded, "It was the first thing I noticed. I asked myself, 'Where the heck is the body copy? No, really.' That just really angered me. I mean, I understood the ad and all. I saw it was for Cesradyston. But, come one, how can a person cope when there's no body copy to explain what I just saw or what I need to do next... I'm still waiting." A Federal Body Copy Relief Fund has yet to be approved by Congress.